


In Shades of Grey

by RaawrImaDinosaur



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: And some anxiety, Asexual Character, M/M, this is mostly just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaawrImaDinosaur/pseuds/RaawrImaDinosaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The other man couldn't hide the nervousness that was etched on his face. Teeth gnawed at his lip – he could see the questions whirling around his mind, and the doubt in his eyes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Shades of Grey

**Author's Note:**

> I was tired of complaining about the lack of Shishimumu fanfiction on this site, so I decided to do something about it and write something of my own (and I really wanted to write an asexual Ginshi).
> 
> This is my first time writing about either of them - well, my first time writing a TG fic, really, so I apologise in advance if they sound a little ooc. Criticism is welcome!

With a smile, Mutsuki looked up at him, green eyes alight and cheeks flushed red with both excitement and embarrassment. He watched Ginshi's eyes flicker over him, hands pausing at the bottom of his shirt, hesitating almost, before pulling it over his head. Mutsuki watched him, eyes hooded as he lifted his hands, and explored his lover's naked chest, fingers stroking at his stomach. He paused, though, when Ginshi cleared his throat, almost nervously as he placed his hands over Mutsuki's, sliding them away. He licked his lips. "M-Mutsu?" He asked nervously, biting the inside of his cheek as he gazed down at his sprawled out lover.  
The man in question, furrowed his brow, head tilted as he studied the taller man. "... Yes?"

Ginshi continued to stare at him for a few moments longer, before shaking his head and looking away, a false smile on his face which matched the fake laugh he made. "Nothin'. Just wonderin' if you were ready for this kind've thing."

"Who says I'm not?" He asked.

His hands, which laid flat on the bed shook slightly, a fact Mutsuki was sure the other wasn't aware of. His eyes softened at the sight. He lifted a hand, fingers cupping his cheek, and moved Ginshi's head to face him. His worry only increased, upon looking him in the eye. The other man couldn't hide the nervousness that was etched on his face. Teeth gnawed at his lip – he could see the questions whirling around his mind, and the doubt in his eyes. 

"No one. I-I just... don' wanna push ya, y'know?"

"You aren't pushing me..." He responded slowly, frowning at him. It was odd, seeing him like this. Mutsuki had never seen the other so frightened, before. He was anxious and tense and... not like himself.

He realised at that moment, that they couldn't do this. "Shirazu... stop."

The pale man froze at his soft spoken words, confused. His mouth struggled to find the words to form a decent reply. he found he didn't have to, as Mutsuki continued. "We don't have to do this. Don't force yourself to do something you don't want."

 

Shirazu seemed to go red at that, and almost spluttered as he tried to force a reply. “I-I do want this! M-More... m-more than anythin'!"

"Don't lie... not to me, and definitely not to yourself. I mean... you look terrified." He pointed out, eyes not leaving the others. He placed his hands over the taller man's, squeezing tightly and prompting him to let go of the abused sheets. He gave him a grateful smile. “I love you. I love you more than I ever imagined. You... accept me, and I accept you too. But I'm not about to force you into something you don't want.”

“A-Accept? I.. I dun' know what yer on abou-"

Mutsuki placed a hand over Ginshi's mouth, silencing him, before shaking his head. When he was sure he wasn't going to speak again, the green haired man lowered his hand, and threaded their fingers together. His gaze slid down, to watch their entwined fingers, and ran his thumb across the other's palm. “Don't hide from me. I know you don't want to do this.”

“I-I don't know what you're talking about.” Shirazu spluttered, cheeks steadily going red. “Of course I want to... to.... uh, a-anyway, why're ya turnin' this onto me, anyway? Yer're the one I'm - “

“We both know that's not true, Ginshi.” Mutsuki cut in, giving him a firm look. “I want you to trust me. I mean, look at you. You've been shaking the entire time we've been here. You don't want to sleep with me. I doubt you ever will, and that's okay. I just. I want you to talk to me.”

Ginshi pursed his lips tightly at Mutsuki's words, trying to look anywhere but at his partner. After a few moments of quiet, his façade dropped, and shame coloured his features. “... I dun want t' b'e different.” He tightened his grip on Mutsuki's hands, and closed his eyes. Sharp teeth clenched tightly together as his body shook. “I-I... It's weird, ain't it? Th-That I ain't interested in... in...”

“No, it's not.”

“It is.” The auburn man pressed and snatched a hand from the other, threading it through orange hair before clenching at a tuff in frustration. “I dun want to... I dun want you to.... come to... hate... me b'cause I ain't satisfyin' you.”

Mutsuki stared at him, almost pained as he watched his boyfriend struggle. It was a struggle he knew well. He licked his lips ad shifted on the bed, grabbing hold of the blanket, and pulled it over them. 

Ginshi looked confused at the action. “Muts-”

“Ginshi, I was born into the wrong body.” He cut in, almost laughing in disbelief. “You don't force me to dress or act like a woman. Why would I force you to have sex when you'd rather watch paint dry?”

“It's not that you ain't attractive. Y-Yer're a fuckin' god. A-And I love you too, I-I just... I've tried before. I just....” His shoulders slumped. “I just ain't interested in it.”

“And that's okay.” Mutsuki stressed for the final time. When Ginshi didn't look up, he kissed him again. And again, and then once more. “I'm not mad. I'm not annoyed, and I'm definitely not disgusted. We aren't a model couple. We aren't even a normal one, and I don't care. We love each other, that's all that matters.”

“Y-Yer a fuckin' Hallmark card, ain't ya.” He muttered, and finally laid down with Mutsuki, who instantly curled into him.

“You caught me. I've been a card this entire time.”

Ginshi gave a breathy laugh, and buried his face into green hair, before sighing. He still embarrassed, but he knew Mutsuki wasn't lying to him. He had to trust him. And he was right. They weren't a model couple, but they were happy.

They would get through it.


End file.
